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Money
There was a man who worked all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!"
She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
"Yes," the wife said, "I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did. I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."
Nicole spoke @ 11:32 PM CST on 08.23.08
The strangest Wal*Mart Customer
I don't think this is the strangest... As if anyone did any of this anyway.
Dear Mrs. Denner,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Denner are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House-wares to go off at 5-minute intervals
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in House-wares. Get on it right away."
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fatal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Once again we cannot tolerate this behaviour in our store.
Regards, Wal-Mart
Nicole spoke @ 10:00 PM CST on 08.21.08
The 19th
August 19 is the 231st day of the year (232nd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 134 days remaining until the end of the year.
Nicole spoke @ 10:23 PM CST on 08.19.08
One month
One month until my buddies 21st birthday!
Darn, he's getting old!
Nicole spoke @ 11:00 PM CST on 08.17.08
Subway
Subway sandwiches are yummy.
But their ads are annoying!
Who agrees?
Nicole spoke @ 10:34 PM CST on 08.15.08
Bolt
Was anyone here a member of Bolt.com?
I miss that website!
I miss the talks with Payam & Rich.
I don't miss fighting with Josh tho.
And omg! Badges. I was such a badge whore.
Nicole spoke @ 11:48 PM CST on 08.13.08
DYK?
In occidental cultures and the northern hemisphere, snowmen are considered a symbol of the winter holiday season for many, and they often appear on Christmas cards and on front yards.
According to old diaries and chronicles, this activity dates back to at least the Middle Ages, when in Europe every new snowfall would find townsfolk making snowmen in the streets.
Nicole spoke @ 11:23 PM CST on 08.11.08
DYK?
It is nearly impossible to build a snowman out of any type of snow other than packing snow. Packing snow is formed when regular powder snow comes near its melting point and becomes moist and compactible. This allows for the construction of large balls of snow by simply rolling a ball of snow until it grows the desired size. Attempting to make a snowman out of powdered snow is extremely difficult since it will not stick to itself. And if packing snow is not rolled into snowballs before it freezes, it will form an unusable denser form of powdered snow called crust. Thus the best time to build a snowman is usually in the next warmest afternoon directly following a snowfall with a sufficient amount of snow.
Nicole spoke @ 8:08 PM CST on 08.08.08
Olympics 2
The olympics are starting soon.
I'm rooting for Shawn Johnson. She's from the state I was born in.
Who knows if she'll do well tho.
Nicole spoke @ 10:11 PM CST on 08.06.08
Olympics
The Olympic Games is an international multi-sport event established for both summer and winter games. There have been two generations of the Olympic Games; the first were the Ancient Olympic Games (Greek: ???µp?a??? ????e?; [Olympiakoi Agones] (help·info)) held at Olympia, Greece. The second, known as the Modern Olympic Movement, were first held in 1896, in Athens, Greece. The modern Olympics feature the Summer Games and Winter Games. The Paralympic and Youth Olympic Games are variations on the Modern Olympic Movement.
The International Olympic Committee (IOC) was founded in 1894 on the initiative of a French nobleman, Pierre Frédy, Baron de Coubertin. His vision was to bring together amateur athletes from around the world to compete in a variety of events. The IOC has become the governing body of the "Olympic Movement," a conglomeration of sporting federations that are responsible for the organization of the Games. The evolution of the Olympic Movement has forced the IOC to change Coubertin's timehonored ideals. The original vision of the pure amateur athlete had to change under the pressure of corporate sponsorships and political regimes intent on the creation of sports "dynasties".
Nicole spoke @ 10:51 PM CST on 08.04.08
Happy August
Happy August to you all!
The olympics start this month!
And 08/08/08 is of course this month!
Nicole spoke @ 11:51 PM CST on 08.01.08
WTH
I've been in the Wal*Mart Deli over a year!
Why have I stayed so long?
It couldn't be that I work with the Sexy Andrew.... could it?
Nicole spoke @ 10:23 PM CST on 07.30.08
Happy Birthday
Happy Late Birthday Dria!
I miss talking to you all the time sissy!
Late night talks with you & Rich were the best!
Nicole spoke @ 10:23 PM CST on 07.27.08
Happy Birthday
Happy birthday little brother!
You're 13 today. Behave and stay out of trouble.
Don't grow up too fast, okay?
Enjoy your life.
Nicole spoke @ 7:08 PM CST on 07.25.08
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday Zoe!
Your aunt misses you a lot.
I'm sorry I haven't seen you in ages.
Don't forget I love you, and always will.
Nicole spoke @ 10:08 PM CST on 07.23.08
Birthday Week
The birthday week is starting.
Sorry I didn't get many gifts for you all.
Doesn't mean I don't love you!
Nicole spoke @ 10:32 PM CST on 07.21.08
In the past
On July 19, 1869, naturalist John Muir set pen to paper to capture his experience of awakening in the Sierra Nevada Mountains of California. Published in 1911, My First Summer in the Sierra is based on Muir's original journals and sketches of his 1869 stay in the vicinity of the Yosemite Valley. His journal tracks his three-and-a-half-month visit to the Yosemite region and his ascent of Mt. Hoffman and other Sierra peaks. Along the way, he describes the flora and fauna as well as the geography and geology of the area.
Muir immigrated from Scotland to Wisconsin as a child. He attended the University of Wisconsin and began working as a mechanical inventor. After an 1867 industrial accident nearly blinded him, he abandoned his career as an inventor to work as a naturalist.
Nicole spoke @ 11:32 PM CST on 07.19.08
Even more blog entires this way..
