My new years resolution was to update my blog more. I was aiming for once a week. But as you can tell it’s almost the end of the month and I’m just now updating. So, I’ll aim for once a month– for now.

I’ve been working a lot lately.  Like 52 hours a week. I feel like I’m wasting my life away, but I now have a car payment.

I’m not even sure what to say anymore. But, I’ll be back….

Honestly I’m not dead. I’ve been through a lot in the last year. I promise to try to update soon.

-I got a new job.

-I got a new best friend.

-I moved back out of my parents.

-I broke up with Andrew.

-I found someone who treats me fantastic.

Dear girl in the mirror,

I wish I could say I love how you look, but that would be a lie. I find such imperfections. But remember your eyes are gorgeous, and your smile really is amazing. I hate that you’re bigger than I want. I just wish I was happy with this reflection. I need to learn to embrace it. I need to learn that I am beautiful, and perfect.. just the way I am.

I need to learn to not be so shy. I need to just stop caring what people think. I need to live my life. And learn to love me, for me.

-Nicole

I don’t think I tell anyone everything, except perhaps my family or Andrew.

I wish I could tell my ‘friends’ in real life and online everything. I wish I could tell them why I’m so shy. I wish I could tell them what interests me. I want to be able to tell them my opinions, my feelings. Why my middle brother is miles away. Why I barely see my niece. I want to tell all my feelings, but I don’t. Because I’m so afraid of people will think.

Dear Roger,

You’ve changed my life in a big way. You’ve given me a reason to smile each day, to keep going on. You’ve been through so much and you don’t let it slow you down. You just continue on with life and have a blast each day. I love you. Thank you for always giving me a laugh.

-Nicole

Dear Andrew,

Thank you for coming into my life and helping me grow. Thank you for letting me get over Steven and for teaching me how to love again.

I love you,

Nicole

I can’t think of anyone I’ve only known a day.

I mean there was that one lady who gave my brother & I a ride to school in the freezing winter one year. Not the brightest idea to take the ride, I know. But I did and we lived. I don’t remember it all now. But I think she was actually a friend’s mother.

Then again my 3rd cousin Billy was at the family reunion. I’ve never met him, but he was super sweet. He was nice to everyone and loved Roger.

Audrey Robichaud is pretty nice too. I’ve known her less then a day in real life, so only online. She’s really sweet! I’ve had good conversations with her about France & my nephew. She even said good job on my french when I said something to her!

I got another one! A lady who interviewed with me last week was friendly too! She helped me feel less nervous because she striked up a conversation with me! And while waiting for our 2nd interview that day she offered me the chair. But I turned it down. I really hope her & her husband got hired on. They were nice and seem like such hard workers.

I think that’s about it.

-Nicole

Dear someone,

I don’t remember who I last made a pinky promise to. So whoever you are please forgive me. Also please forgive me, because I likely forgot whatever I made a pinky-promise about. I didn’t mean to, but my memory can be a bit lame.

Perhaps this is just a reason I should make more pinky-promises. Perhaps…

-Nicole

Dear person down on their luck,

I can’t pick somebody I know. Lots of people I know are having a bad time in life, but I know it’s not as bad as others out there.

So if you’re out there and homeless & jobless. I wish you the best. I hope you find someone to help you, and I hope you let them help you. I believe you will get a stroke of good luck.

For those out there who feel all alone, maybe you feel useless. Remember, out there someone loves you. And you are beautiful, you are strong, you are amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you different. You are the best you, you can be. Embrace it.

For those who have lost a love one. I hope you find the courage to go on. Remember the good times.

And to everyone else. I wish you the best, and I pray for the whole world every night.

-Nicole

I know no one reads this, but whatever!

These letters are so annoying and I’m glad I’m almost done. I didn’t know deciding who & what to write would be so hard.

But anyway. Since my photography job ended at the end of June I’ve been looking for a job. I had one interview but it was a bust. So I finally broke down and applied at the meat packing plant my boyfriend works at. I was having no luck but finally got called for an interview Thursday morning. So I went to my interview and was asked back for a 2nd interview that afternoon. And then, I went in Friday for my physical. I’m medically cleared for my job so I’m just waiting for my background check to come back.

Then I will be having my orientation. The bad thing is, my fingers/hands might hurt so I might not want to be online often. Bleh, but I really need this job and money.

Also, I might get to move out of my parent’s house. It’s not buying my own house, but I’ll be renting my parent’s 2nd house that my oldest brother has been in for awhile. It will be nice to get out of this house and feel independent again.

That’s about it.

-Nicole

I honestly can’t pick a favorite memory.

I loved all the times I got to spend with my grandparents before they died. From shopping with grandma, to building crafts with grandpa.

I loved all the times with the guys when I was younger, back when I liked sports.

The times spent at Otto & Patrick’s. The days & nights spent with Jenny. Like when we stayed up until 1 or so in the morning just so she could retake her allergy pill.

I enjoy times I spent with Steven. Like when Andrew & him got along. The time all 3 of us went to the fair and laughed.

And I enjoyed all those great times with Joel, Rich, Dria, John, Payam & Kris.

I remember lots, and I enjoyed lots. Too many for a favorite.

-Nicole